SIX EXITS

We will return you to your regularly scheduled heart attack post later....

But right now I must tell you the reason why I'm wide awake at 3am. About half and hour ago Joel and I were awakened to a sound much like a garbage can being drug down our street. Our dead end street I might add. We popped out of bed and looked out our window. No garbage cans around, just one of our neighbors driving his truck. Joel mentioned that it looked like his truck was making those God awful noises. Huh. Not that interesting. So we went back to bed.

Five minutes later we jumped up again, this time we were greeted with about six police cars equipped with spotlights parked at various odd angles. Joel, being unaffected, or at least knowing that we would get the 12 hour run down from our neighbor who will chat your ear off went back to bed. I, on the other hand, stealthfully opened the window and layed on the radiator cover to get a better view. It was pretty obvious. I think a cop might of even waved at me once. Come to find out from a series of strung out cuss-words and angry neighbors, the guy three houses down from us (with the truck) managed to hit about ALL of our neighbors cars while careening down the road (drunk? high? texting while applying lip balm? who knows....). One of our neighbors truck had been hit so hard it ended up in the other neighbors lawn. Fortunately our one and ONLY vehicle was tucked safely in our driveway.

Our dogsitter, another neighbor who lives right next to truck man, swears that this guy is a drug dealer. She says he paid CASH for the house and only uses it once or twice a week and when he does come home he usually brings some random young girl. Odd, eh? I'm sure this is just AWESOME for our property value. I mean who wouldn't want to live on the street with a dealer who may or may not be running into your car on occasion?

So the cops are interrogating my dd (drug dealing) neighbor, while my other chatty neighbors are walking up and down the street with a flash light shaking their heads at the damage. It ended with the dd neighbor screaming, and I quote, "I've got RRRRRIGHTS mother fuckas! I've got a master degree in BUSINESS and I'm going to bring it! I'm going to give it to you right now fuckas!" as he was being loaded into the back of the police car. What was he planning on doing? Hitting the cops with his diploma? Explaining economics 201 until they wept and let him go?

Geez. You gotta love Baltimore.