SIX EXITS

So here I was with my new set of shiny cahones (can I even say that on the Internet?) ready to STAND the heck up for myself. When Joel and I were seated at a crappy table in Chili's I asked the waitress if we could move. Score one for Ashlie! When I knew the interest rate on my credit card should be lower I called good 'ol Bank of America and asked, nay, demanded that this LOYAL customer be receiving a better rate. Ask and you shall receive. What started out innocently enough snowballed into something greater. With fangs and possible demonic possession. This culminated into the events which happened last week. They shall now on be referred to as The Days of Reckoning.

Day number one: The Refi Meltdown.
Last Wednesday was a cold, windy day in Baltimore. It also happened to be the day Joel and I needed to sign loan documents for our home refinance. We drove to the massive office building where our title company was located and ran for the door. I, as usual, was not dressed in "weather appropriate attire" and was freezing. I hopped up the stairs and gripped the handle. It was locked. I was surprised to see a middle aged woman standing behind the door. I smiled and motioned. She smirked and shrugged. Five minutes later after Joel and I had ran around the ENTIRE building looking for another door (which there was none) we arrived back to see a business man standing next to the woman. He opened to door for us. As I stepped in the walkway I started berating her for not opening the door. She shot back. It got ugly. Joel, once again, stared at me like I had three heads. I was FURIOUS. She had pissed off the wrong cold, hungry camper.

Day Two: The Computer Collision.

Friday I had an overnight in Florida. My main goal for those 18 hours was to blog and tan. Both of which had been sorely overlooked this winter. After arriving in the business center to find the computers occupied I left to run. I returned an hour later to find the SAME man glued to his myspace/facebook/eharmony page. He refused to get off the computer. Verbal sparring ensued. He suggested that I call the police if I wanted him removed. I barely had the common sense to leave before I suggested what I thought he should do with himself....

Day Three: The Bacon Incident.

Another day in Florida. My crew member and I met for breakfast in the hotel restaurant. I, being vegetarian, ordered a veggie omelet. Half way throughI tasted something familiar. What the heck? I spit a red colored fleshy blob into my hand (mmmmnnn) and realized that I was chewing on bacon. I peeled apart my omelet and sat the dime size chunks on the side of my plate. The waitress came by and I explained the situation. Two seconds later the cook stomped over to our table told me that it WAS NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE BACON. I explained to him, that yes, infact it was bacon as I had CHEWED. This went back and forth until I told Mr. Cook to get thee heck over to my table and look at the blobs. My crewmate later told me that she had never expected that reaction from me because I was so sweet on the airplane.

Day 4: Old-Man Toothpaste Aisle Smackdown/Is God Testing Me?

Home again. Joel and I decided to make a quick run to Target for a few (who are we kidding?) items. I ended up in the toothpaste aisle while Joel returned a shirt. I picked up two boxes of tooth whitening gel to compare and in the process I knocked one on the flooe. I kicked it out of way to avoid anyone tripping and to pick it up. Did I pick it up at that instant? No. I was still guessing which product would make my teeth glow in the dark. Thats when a little old man bent over and picked up the box. Before I could reply with a hearty thanks, he turned and glared at me and said "What? You can't bend over or something?!?!" which was followed by an even worse glare and a loud sigh/spit. As he walked away I immediately went to follow him. There was NO WAY this mean old man was getting the last word. What happened next will hopefully change me for the better. My husband. My dear sweet husband walked over. He could tell that I was fuming and asked what was wrong. I told him about the injustice of it all and my plot to humiliate the old man. Feign pregnancy? Back injury? Something.... Joel stopped and looked at me shaking his head. He looked me straight in the eye and said "Let. It. Go." Let it go? But I was embarrassed. It wasn't fair. Grudgingly I told Joel that I wasn't going to hunt him down.

Somewhere between the shoes and dvds something changed. The anger that had been coursing through my veins was melting and the frown softened. I began to smile. I begin to feel good about myself like I had done the right thing and been the bigger person. That was two days ago and since then its really been all I can think about. The person I was becoming was not the person I want to be. What happened to the girl who used to wear her W.W.J.D. bracelet and actually try to "turn the other cheek"? It seems that as my empathy for animals and the environment has grown the compassion and kindness for people has waned. I'm always polite on the plane, its my job, but corner me when I'm not working and BAM. You can see what happens. And? I don't like it. I can't blame it on people being idiots, not eating for six hours or lack of sleep. Factors like this will always come into play. I can't choose how people are going to act, I can only choose my actions. And? I want to choose to be kind, generous, caring and empathetic. I think if I keep heading down the same path I've been on the only person I'm going to hurt will be me.

So? Wish me the best of luck, 'cause I'm sure this isn't the easy road I'm taking....