A common misconception amongst civilians (people who are not airline crew) is that flight attendants are an uneducated bunch. This (for the most part) is completely untrue. I've worked with former doctors, nurses, accountants, teachers, a school superintendent and even an ex-Secret Serviceman who helped guard the prez. We are a varied bunch with a common thread. A love for flying, travel, interacting with people and eating meals over the trash can.
I tend to learn a lot from my crew and this last trip was no exception. I worked with a great flight attendant who used to run an animal rescue. She has raised hundreds of thousands of dollars, taken in thousands of animals and trained hundreds of dogs and cats. I was in awe. Of course I whipped out pictures of my pups and began peppering her with questions. "Is it normal for my dog to pee on our chair? Why does Winnie always hold her back paw in her mouth? Should we be worried about Hosses aggression when we take him on walks and he freaks out when we see another dog?...." She listened to all my questions with the appropriate nod here and there. Then she turned to me and asked "Does Hoss sit on you? Does he put his butt up to you first? Does he lean on you? Push you? Pee every three seconds when you're on a walk? Bite Winnie when she's in his way?". "Um....ya? That isn't normal?" was the only reply I could muster. She smiled and said "Nope. Your dog is making a jack-ass out of you."
Apparently our dog, Hoss, is trying to take over the world. Starting with his two stupid owners. I think that if we would have thought about it harder we *might* have realized that he had filled out the application for the "alpha dog" role and signed it in blood a long time ago. Our blood. From the dog bites. I didn't mention that he bites? When he was a puppy he bit HARD and drew blood multiple times with those vampire-like puppy teeth. Nowadays he just occasionally keeps us on our toes by giving a polite little chomp on our rear. Poor Joel used to have to flatten himself on the fridge for fear of a chomping of his man parts. An old Hoss favorite. Were probably lucky that we haven't been trying to get knocked up, 'cause I'm sure that can't help fertility prospects.
So as of a few days ago were starting intense doggy boot-camp. The most important part is going to be the crate training . We will follow that up by cutting back on their food (they may or may not be getting a bit pudgy), new collars and individual walks. The biggest part of the training though won't be with the dogs, it will be with us...especially me. The dogs may be my babies, but they aren't actual babies. Apparently they are canines who have very specific needs. First, they need an alpha to show them who's in charge. Secondly, they need mental and physical exercise daily. Thirdly falls my favorite....praise (aka "I wuv you puuppies. You are so preshhhius to meeee baby doggle facessss....). Molly has also volunteered to help me train them when we both have the day off. For free! Holla!
So cross your fingers folks 'cause my rear is counting on it.... Ouch.
I tend to learn a lot from my crew and this last trip was no exception. I worked with a great flight attendant who used to run an animal rescue. She has raised hundreds of thousands of dollars, taken in thousands of animals and trained hundreds of dogs and cats. I was in awe. Of course I whipped out pictures of my pups and began peppering her with questions. "Is it normal for my dog to pee on our chair? Why does Winnie always hold her back paw in her mouth? Should we be worried about Hosses aggression when we take him on walks and he freaks out when we see another dog?...." She listened to all my questions with the appropriate nod here and there. Then she turned to me and asked "Does Hoss sit on you? Does he put his butt up to you first? Does he lean on you? Push you? Pee every three seconds when you're on a walk? Bite Winnie when she's in his way?". "Um....ya? That isn't normal?" was the only reply I could muster. She smiled and said "Nope. Your dog is making a jack-ass out of you."
Apparently our dog, Hoss, is trying to take over the world. Starting with his two stupid owners. I think that if we would have thought about it harder we *might* have realized that he had filled out the application for the "alpha dog" role and signed it in blood a long time ago. Our blood. From the dog bites. I didn't mention that he bites? When he was a puppy he bit HARD and drew blood multiple times with those vampire-like puppy teeth. Nowadays he just occasionally keeps us on our toes by giving a polite little chomp on our rear. Poor Joel used to have to flatten himself on the fridge for fear of a chomping of his man parts. An old Hoss favorite. Were probably lucky that we haven't been trying to get knocked up, 'cause I'm sure that can't help fertility prospects.
So as of a few days ago were starting intense doggy boot-camp. The most important part is going to be the crate training . We will follow that up by cutting back on their food (they may or may not be getting a bit pudgy), new collars and individual walks. The biggest part of the training though won't be with the dogs, it will be with us...especially me. The dogs may be my babies, but they aren't actual babies. Apparently they are canines who have very specific needs. First, they need an alpha to show them who's in charge. Secondly, they need mental and physical exercise daily. Thirdly falls my favorite....praise (aka "I wuv you puuppies. You are so preshhhius to meeee baby doggle facessss....). Molly has also volunteered to help me train them when we both have the day off. For free! Holla!
So cross your fingers folks 'cause my rear is counting on it.... Ouch.
You, my dear, have been indoctrinated with the exact assessment and advice that the Dog Whisperer would give you. Your dogs need a "calm & assertive pack leader." That's your new role. And if you ever watch that show (we watch it quite a bit in my house), you'll learn it's the people who need more training than the dogs. So ... great advice from your co-worker and my advice? Follow up with Cesar Milan on the Nat Geo channel to keep being reminded of how to be a great dog owner!
March 14, 2008 11:39 AM
go you dog whisperer you!
March 14, 2008 11:59 AM
Good luck with the training!! It's so hard to be firm with our precious little fuzzy pets, but I suppose it's best to do it in defense of your butt!
March 14, 2008 1:01 PM
It is so true that it's harder to train the trainer than the dog :)
Good Luck!
March 14, 2008 1:15 PM
I second the Cesar Millan Dog Whisperer show! He's AWESOME!! We all love watching it, and we don't even have dogs. We have a few of them saved on TiVO and Claire loves watching them.
March 14, 2008 3:21 PM
my big labrador thinks he's a lapdog.... is that an issue?
March 14, 2008 4:25 PM
Does he put his butt in your face? Apparently thats a major sign of dominance.... Who knew?
March 14, 2008 5:05 PM
Hope your doggie training goes smoothly! Show your alpha side :)
March 14, 2008 6:10 PM
Best of luck! You can send her my way when your kiddos are trained if you'd like. Some days I think I need an intervention!
March 15, 2008 12:33 AM
Good luck! That sounds like a good amount of work. I like being a cat person, the cats are who they are and we just have to live with it.
March 18, 2008 2:42 PM
Ooohh! That sounds cool. I wish someone would teach my chihuahuha that he's an idiot... no wait... he already knows that. I wish someone would teach him how to drink out of the bowl without choking... eVERY SINGLE TIME! :) Good luck!
March 19, 2008 8:17 PM
Ha, we're trying to put one dog through boot camp, while at the same time trying to fatten the other up. Doesn't work too well at all! And they whine when we try to get them to eat in separate rooms or at separate times...
April 2, 2008 9:53 PM
i HATE the stereotype that certain professions are all filled with uneducated people. mine is one. and though that description fits a minority of the people there, its not an accurate representation in the LEAST!
April 2, 2008 11:32 PM
WHERE ARE YOU?
-Bets
April 20, 2008 11:47 PM
I think anyone could give your blog a brief glance and debunk that whole myth that flight attendants aren't highly intelligent!
Though, I completely know how you feel -- I grew up in the South (Tennessee to be precise), where contrary to popular belief most of us actually do have a full set of perfect teeth and shoes, as well, and the second I moved to NYC, I started getting all sorts of comments like, "Tennessee, really? They have good writing programs down there?" (because I'm a journalist and didn't attend an Ivy) or "What's a good ole Southern belle doing in the big city?" (as if Manhattan had restrictions on who could or could not cross it's borders) or my favorite "You're from Tennessee?! How did you get here???" (to which I always had to cattily reply, "on a plane, duh!").
April 28, 2008 12:25 AM
it has been TWO months since you POSTED! Is everything OK?
-Bets
May 13, 2008 4:47 PM
Hey- I've really been missing your posts. Hope you're OK.
May 17, 2008 8:10 PM
Just to add to the general concern here -- I miss your posts! I hope you and the dogs are doing well.
Regards,
Emily
June 17, 2008 3:12 AM
ha, this is awesome. great blog you have!! looking forward to reading more.
June 19, 2008 2:40 PM